Emotions! Our feelings, sentiments, intuitions, and instincts. They let us know our state of mind and how we perceive our life circumstances and relationships. Emotions can be positive and negative, and while they do not represent truth, they are the truest reflection of what we believe. Now if you are like me, you have believed a lot of lies and so your feelings are, shall we say, not the healthiest. At best, we find ourselves trying to tame the emotional beast, only to find that it cannot be controlled. But there is help and a way to live free from emotional pain.

     For me, the path towards emotional healing came in the form of an exchange and learning to live out of primary rather than reactionary emotions, such as anger, fear, worry, doubt, shame, grief, jealousy, sadness, anxiety, guilt……you get the picture. Now don’t get me wrong, reactionary emotions are sometimes helpful, as they are indicators that something is wrong in our soul and needs to be addressed. However, we should not be ruled and guided by such emotions. Living life constantly controlled by reactionary emotions is exhausting and hinders us from experiencing life to the fullest. So how do you break the cycle? Well, it starts with a pause! You see, taking a few seconds to breathe, pray and, well…. not react, is the first and most crucial step in learning how not to live out of your reactionary emotions.

     Interestingly, once I learned how to ‘pause,’ I was immediately faced with a plethora of situations that would test my newfound resolve.  In time and with lots of practice I was able to identify when and why my reactionary emotions would bubble up and therefore when it was necessary to pause, that is, breathe and pray. In the pause I learned to ask the question, “What lie am I believing? and then please God, exchange the lie with the truth.

     So, what’s on the other side of this emotional exchange? What are primary emotions we should strive for and why should we want them? The simple answer is that primary emotions are grounded in God’s truth and therefore human expressions that flow from this reservoir are bathed in love. The result? Our reactionary emotions are healed, and our primary emotions show up and bear spiritual fruit as we give and receive joy, peace, and hope.

     Not a bad trade, right? Let’s just say that I won the lottery as everything in my life changed when I exchanged reactionary with primary emotions. You see, living life from primary emotions is synonymous with emotional maturity and the ability to actualize the God given purposes of your life. That is what happens when you experience the emotional exchange we have been talking about. You grow up! You become equipped to manage the challenges of life and embrace the blessings along the way!

     If you are still finding yourself living in a state of frustration, ruled over by reactionary emotions, it is time to ask God for wisdom and the strength to implement the pause. It is the tool that will unlock the key to emotional health, healing and well being.

Dario L. Perla