As I started my ‘quest to love’ I lifted up a simple prayer to God, “I want to know what love is?” Despite sounding elementary I meant it with all my heart. I was willing to do whatever it took to understand love and to live it moment by moment. I was desperate to know love and I wanted God to show me. Well, His answer to my prayer came in a way I could never have imagined. Check this out!

Every year for several years I would buy my mom the Major League Baseball TV package for her birthday so she could watch her beloved New York Mets almost nonstop – 162 season games. Every year I would call her on baseball opening day to make sure she had the package set up and to help her find the right channel. But one year I noticed something was different. My mom was showing signs of early dementia and I knew that over time her condition would worsen. It hit me especially hard and with great sadness in 2015 when she started typing the channel number into her phone instead of the TV remote. When I explained to her what she was doing, we both laughed it off, finished our conversation and said our goodbyes. I knew in that instant that something was terribly wrong, but I didn’t know what to do. So, I prayed and asked God to lead the way. And He did!

“Here’s what I want you to do, son. Call your mom everyday from now on and help her find the right channel so she can watch the Mets, and then tell her these three words, “I love you!” I took a step back in my mind and said, “Are you serious? She will think I’m crazy! I’m not doing that!” Now you need to understand. From the first day I left home many years ago, I would call my mom every Sunday to touch base. To be honest I called her more out of obligation than emotion. You see, my dad had died years prior, and she was alone. But the story gets more complicated. My childhood was very traumatic and every phone call to my mom was a sort of reminder of that trauma. It wasn’t that I hated my mom but as someone who felt mistreated as a child, I didn’t want any reminders of my past.  My mom tended to be pessimistic, and that pessimism would land on me like a ton of bricks when I talked to her, so I just wanted to avoid the conversation. In that context every phone call seemed like a burden and now God wanted me to make one everyday and tell her ‘I love you.’

To me that felt a little extreme and unnecessary and I wasn’t having it. So, I tried to justify my position before God and defend my rights as a mistreated child. I even bargained with God that I was already healed of all the wounds through counseling and had forgiven my mom because she did her best raising her children but unfortunately dumped her childhood pain onto her kids; a vicious cycle known to many in this world. God’s answer resounded back to me with a deafening silence!  Instinctively knowing that my attempts at negotiations were over, I had only one option – obedience!

So it began, A call to my mom every day to help her find the Mets channel and share the words ‘I love you’ In just a few short weeks I began to see an amazing exchange taking place on every call. Her pessimism was being replaced with optimism. My murmuring was being replaced with laughter. And most importantly, love was driving out fear! I could hardly believe what my ears were hearing and what my heart was experiencing. In about a months’ time my phone call went from duty to desire. I looked forward to calling my mom and deeply enjoyed our conversations. It would make my heart leap with joy to hear her voice and learn about her little funny quirks.  I was learning to relish my time (my remaining time) with my mom. Looking back I now know that God’s plan was to restore our relationship. What I initially thought was an unrealistic ask and task turned out to be God’s healing love at work. Wow!!!  

Besides a restored relationship with my mom came another reward for my obedience. A few years later, on Christmas Eve 2017 as I sat with my mom drinking coffee and splitting a blueberry muffin, the Holy Spirit prompted me to talk to her about salvation. At this point she was 82 years old with full blown dementia and not much of a grasp on reality. But within minutes of the prompting, I prayed with my mom to receive Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and watched the Holy Spirit enter her and seal her eternity alongside Him and all the other saints. That’s what happens when you choose to obey God’s command to love and utter three powerful words everyday into another’s heart!

Do you want to know what love is? Ask him to show you and give Him the reigns to do what ever it takes to heal every wound and restore all that was lost or stolen from the Enemy. It may not look like what you think it should but don’t be afraid to step out in faith. You will surely find that God’s love never fails!!!

Dario L. Perla